The one thing that I love about having a community of women around me is the wealth of knowledge and advice you get in abundance and it's almost always relatable, accurate and relevant . Sometimes unsolicited but there comes a point in your life where you look back and think "mamma was right" or "I should have listened to my aunt" or "I wish my gran would offer some words of wisdom right now" . Am I right or AM I RIGHT? . I wish they made a compilation of those nuggets of wisdom for me so I could go back and reference when needed. I have gone through moments when I felt like I wish life had a manual specific to me and often times we do in a form of our elders and the women in our lives maybe it's just not packaged the way I want it to be. So in the spirit of sharing knowledge and wisdom here are 10 things I want my daughter to know, grasp and understand :
1. The world is your oyster . You can literally be and do whatever you to do in this world.
The world is full of so much possibility, there is literally nothing we cannot do right now. The resources are there, the time is there. Whatever you will you can achieve. There is nothing out of your reach. Just trust and believe.
2. Let God be the anchor of your life, everything else is fleeting.
There are plenty of other gods out there all wanting to be worshipped but there is only one true God. He stands undefeated. He is the only true saviour and above Him there can be no other . I have seen Him work in my life, even your existence is purely a blessing from Him. His grace has brought you and I to this very moment. In moments when I thought I would not make it, in moments when I doubted my abilities and lost all hope and patience He came in a restored me and gave me grace to try again , grace to parent, grace to press on and persevere. There is literally no greater gift then the love of Christ. Stay close to Him.
3. Stay humble
There is nothing to be gained from being pompous. If you fail to be humble , God will humble you and trust me you do not want that. Unkulunkulu ubathanda bonke abantu bakhe (God loves all His people equally).
4. Stay true to self
Never ever lose yourself just to please people, it's a big price to pay. Once you know who you are and what you stand for stick to it by all means. Sometimes people will be disappointed by your decisions and your life choices including me, that's okay. Let them be disappointed, you will have no one to account for your life except you so make sure that you understand why you do the things you do, try be considerate of other people's feeling but understand that you cannot please everyone .
5. "He is not the sun, you are"
This is a qoute from my all time favourite medical Tv show , Greys anatomy . I will make you watch it one day, great show ! Dr Yang was telling Dr Grey that her beloved husband is not the sun, he is not be all end all of her life, she is. Remember this with every relationship you go into. You are the sun , you are where it starts and where it ends be it the joy or the sorrow in the relationship. It's about you (selfish I know but trust me). In addition know this, you are the chooser , you are the one that gets to choose the guy you want to be with so choose wisely my baby.
6. Gratitude
Personally it took me a while to get this but be grateful for all that you have . God loves a grateful heart and my theory is He blesses a thankful heart. So be filled with gladness for all the things you have no matter how little because if you can be glad and grateful for the little you have and take good care of it I believe God will bless you with more and you'll be able to be grateful for that too. there's nothing more displeasing that a heart that is never fulfilled. Thank God for His grace and pray for a grateful heart.
7. Read.
Pick up a book once or twice . It will literally change your life, it changed mine.
8. The world is more kinder to men, Life is unfair
The scales favour men, you will see this just don't be shocked . Men literally get away with murder . Accept it and try not let it get to you as much as it gets to me. Enjoy your life even in this reality. It's imperative that you do .
9. Have a plan but be flexible.
Plan out the big things like what career you want to pursue, which university you want to go to, how you want to live your life. The finer details will be revealed to you as you go that's where the flexibility comes in, it won't always look like the picture in your head. As long as the bigger picture is still in frame then I think you will be alright. don't forget to make space for God to move in your life as well.
10. Learn to say NO and mean it .
I spent a huge chunk of my life people pleasing, doing things I knew I didn't want to do, and hanging around people I didn't like very much and it got me nothing but heartache and regret. Save yourself the stress and say no when you mean it . Lol I can already tell you are good at that so don't let the world corrupt you because we are very good at killing the innocence of a child , Remember NO is a full sentence. Sometimes you might have to stand your ground but do it with the utmost respect and humility.
NOTE: You are PERFECT just the way you are RIGHT NOW. You are literally everything I want you to be , smart, funny, outspoken, decisive, strong willed, empowered and lovely. Nothing missing, nothing broken. You deserve nothing but the best that this life has to offer and even from me . Never lose your light and your sense of wonder infact I'd say stay child like, it's a gift .
PS. I hope this blog survives long enough for her to read it herself .
