BABY DIARIES : A YEAR IN
Monday, February 04, 2019
I am back again for another baby diaries.
The last 6months of her first year went by so quickly. I guess it's because i was at work most of the time and I was hardly there for anything. In the last 2/3 months she would sleep an hour or 2 after fetching her from daycare so that left us with little time to really bond. A part of me was glad she slept early because I was also tired from work. Being a working mother is a different struggle. I really felt like I was going insane in the last 6months. I felt alone and tired all the time. I had /have no idea what I was doing. I was just really having a tough time.
The last 6months of her first year went by so quickly. I guess it's because i was at work most of the time and I was hardly there for anything. In the last 2/3 months she would sleep an hour or 2 after fetching her from daycare so that left us with little time to really bond. A part of me was glad she slept early because I was also tired from work. Being a working mother is a different struggle. I really felt like I was going insane in the last 6months. I felt alone and tired all the time. I had /have no idea what I was doing. I was just really having a tough time.
Raising a human is an incredibly hard thing to do, extremely rewarding but not without its challenges. It is a bit sad that I am writing this post when i am feeling the challenges more than the reward. We have been to countless doctors in the last couple of weeks. From a cold, to diarrhea to vomiting. It has been an incredibly hard time. She is in great health now but she did have us running around for a while trying to get there. That's what babies do when they are teething i guess.
Being a mum at 25 is a journey i am still navigating. I don't have all the time in the world. With my time split between being a mother, working, being a girlfriend and a friend I really found it hard to balance or cope. A lot of my relationships suffered, the irony is this happened at a time where i needed everyone the most. I remember when I went for a little vacation in Cape Town I cried all the way to Johannesburg because I felt like I was abandoning my baby. I felt like a bad parent and i didn't know how to console myself. I really didn't think I'd feel that way because i was really excited about the trip. When I was in Cape Town I had to try very hard not to feel guilty for enjoying myself whilst my baby was at home. It's a really wierd thing I had to wrap my head around because I i really wanted to be there, if anything I needed a break but the mommy guilt (is what I've decided to call it) crept in every now and then. I do cry a lot, sometimes u have to cry internally (yes that's a thing) because I literally didn't have time to stop and break down.
So many wonderful things happened during this time also. We are now on 8 tiny teeth, we are sitting and the biggest of them all is that she can stand on her own for a good minute. She takes 1 or 2 steps and all of that is exciting. It makes up for all the hospital and doctor visits, the sleepless nights and tantrums. Yes she throws tantrums now. She screams and throws things. It's really dramatic I tell you. She crawls everywhere, opens every drawer and door she sets her eyes on. She loves getting in the shower and once or twice I've caught her eating bath soap (the horror! ). Everything she comes across goes straight to her mouth more especially papers and tissues. I don't know why babies obsess over the most weirdest things.
We cut her hair at some point because it was getting hard to manage. I am also really struggling with finding cute clothes for her because 1.she is big and 2. I just don't know what to buy her at times but alas my baby is my light I absolutely cannot imagine life without her. She makes me happy. I love her with everything that i have.
Crossing over that 1year milestone was the biggest reward. Her turning 2 years old will be great but I don't know if it will be as amazing as knowing that she just turned a year old. Even saying it makes me smile. God has been good.
Crossing over that 1year milestone was the biggest reward. Her turning 2 years old will be great but I don't know if it will be as amazing as knowing that she just turned a year old. Even saying it makes me smile. God has been good.
0 comments
really appreciate your comments!
love you and stay blessed