I am obsessed with personal finance, I love setting financial goals and smashing them. I don't want to ever be without money or certain material things and I don't want that for my daughter either but these are things you can not run away from, especially as a single parent. For transparency let me clarify what I mean when I say I am a single parent. Langa's dad and I broke up just after she turned a year old.  Having a child put a lot of strain on me and in turn, our relationship which by the way was already crumbling. He lives an hour and some change away but hasn't seen our child in months. He contributes a R1000 monthly which doesn't even cover half of her school fees let alone her expenses for the month. If I am lucky he sends it on time, other months you have to call and remind him. I am the only constant and active parent hence why I identify as a single parent. I am practically doing this alone. If there is a school meeting, which there was just this past week, and I can't make it no one will. If we need anything extra I have to make sure it happens whether financially, physically or even emotionally. Luckily for me, I am very particular about money. This doesn't mean we do not go without but I make sure everything we need is paid for and covered and we have a bit of savings left, here is how:

1. BUDGET! 

Budgeting gives your money a job. Have you ever heard the saying that "idle money is bored money and bored money is gone money"? If you do not give that R100 a job you will spend it on useless things or things you did not intend on. I love budgeting, I do it weekly which helps me have a real-time look at what's happening to my finances. Set a date with your finances, get a pen and paper and write all your income and expenses down. I normally list them according to priority. Rent, school fees, groceries, insurance, petrol etc will be top of the list. It's also easy to start off with these because they are constant and the figures rarely change. I then proceed with variable expenses such as clothes, Langa's extra curriculum activities, fun money for the both of us you get the picture. Write every amount as it is not what you wish it was so you can get a CLEAR indication of what you are dealing with. One thing that killed my budget was not being honest with how much I needed to spend because like it or not money has to be spent and I didn't like it one bit. I can not stress how important budgeting is and not that budget you do in your head just before payday. write it down and see exactly what is happening on paper. 

2. TAKE INVENTORY

Doing your budget allows you to take stock. You can see where your money is going and can thus assess your expenses and spending habits. I know this all sounds so intense but I promise you it will help. When you start seeing your finances for what they really are then you are on your way to doing better. Taking inventory for me normally looks like cutting out things like buying myself clothes, eating out or buying take-outs. I only do this when I'm coming in shot for the month. Taking inventory also means looking into your closet or your baby's closet and getting rid of things that you no longer need and possibly sell or swap with other moms, siblings or friends. This is a great way to make or save money. In 2020 in the thick of lockdown I was unemployed and was applying for jobs almost daily with no luck, I decided to revive the thrifting side hustle. I sold second-hand clothes online and it honestly saved me during that time. It kept me busy and gave me a purpose for those few months. I hate the idea of single moms having side hustles because there is barely enough time for anything especially if you don't have or cannot afford help but if you can try it, it makes a huge difference.  The beautiful thing about having a budget is that you get a chance to take inventory. 

3. PLAN AHEAD

This takes so much energy and time but it is sure worth it. I am a planner by nature, I want to have things set and thought out, sometimes to my own detriment because you can never be sure about the future but you can prepare yourself. I have a yearly budget template that allows me to look at my finances long term-ish. I plan big purchases according to my financial standing. I get paid per hour which means I only get paid for the hours I work every month. I often get anxious about the days I cannot make it to work for one reason or the other, which would mean I won't be earning income for that period. I try and account for all these scenarios so I am not left with a huge gap in my finances. For months when I am going on leave (which is unpaid) I cut down all costs to be able to survive the pay cut. Buying in bulk also helps for months where income is low. I buy cleaning stuff, toiletries and non-perishables in bulk, in that way I don't have to think about these items for a while. I recently got life insurance and am in the process of getting a funeral plan. Plan for your kid's future as well by making sure that they do not go without when you are no longer here. I can not stress this enough. Here is a video on how you can create generational wealth using life insurance.

4. PAY IN ADVANCE OR SETTLE DEBT

In planning ahead if finances allow and there is enough room in your budget you can pay your accounts, bills and essential expenses in advance. This I have yet to try. I am really thinking about paying my daughter's school fees in advance because I am not taking her out of her school anytime soon. It will honestly give me room to breathe and some much-needed peace of mind. I don't know about you but I hate paying bills and more importantly paying them with my own money. Look at items in your budget that you can pay in advance or even better settlement. I am not a fan of debt, I don't appreciate the idea of owing people ad having them debit my account every month. I got rid of most of the debts I had. I do have an account that's active with TFG and I keep convincing myself that I need it because I want to buy homeware stuff but considering the amount I pay every month which includes admin fees and interest I don't rate it's worth it. In essence, you can cut out debt completely by settling accounts and staying out of debt.

5. SAVE

I cannot stress how important this part is. Settling debts can help save money. The less money that leaves your pocket the more money you have to save. Saving is a skill, it's a muscle that you have to build and exercise. Most people are natural spenders, they find it hard to save. As mother money is always leaving your pocket for whatever reason. Raising kids is expensive, no matter which way you look at it. I don't know what I did with my money before having my daughter but now half of it goes to her, making sure she is alive, comfortable and happy. There may not be enough money to save after paying your bills and taking care of your child or children but if there is please save. Save for an emergency fund. That is 3-6months of your expenses including your child's needs. This will save you a great deal of stress when God forbid you to lose your source of income or cannot provide for yourself and your child. Creating a budget will help with this step because you are very clear on your expenses and the amount of money they require. If you do not have enough money to save please consider a less stressful side hustle such as transcribing, surveys, selling online etc. 

6. MAINTENANCE COURT

It took me 4 years to take my daughter's father to maintenance court. We had our first intervention with a maintenance office in February. I say first because we are going back in April for our second meeting with the magistrate. I will actually do a separate blog post detailing the process for someone who is willing or wants to embark on this process. What I can say right now is that up until we go back to court he is providing a significantly higher amount than he was initially. I encourage you, actually, I implore you if you are a single parent and you are having challenges financially please consider going to court. Fight for your child because you are their only advocate. The process can be taxing but I honestly think it can be worth it. 

I hope this helps at least one person. 

Thanks for reading.