What a time to be alive, literally. None of us could have predicted that this year would turn out like this. It sounds like a really scary movie . When we are claiming and dubbing this year as thee year we honestly had no idea we would have to face such a nasty pandemic, we had no idea that literally the whole world would shut down. It's bizarre. The more I think about it the more appreciative I am of everything that I have, especially health. By the way I am still claiming this year as "my year".

When this whole thing(Covid-19) broke out I was still in mpumalanga. I was in the final month of my contract when they implemented the lock down and this was a week or so from my last day there. The thought of being stuck in another province, far from home  slowly started to scare me but I had hope that it wouldn't get to that. What would I do there for all the 21 days stuck in foreign territory ??? On April 1st I took the decision to stay in Mpumalanga longer and self isolate for 14days JUST IN CASE. I knew I'd feel horribly bad if I was infected, went home and possibly infected my family and baby.

The 14 days went by so slow, I wanted to be safe but I also needed to be home, to be with my baby. I missed her dearly and there was a time in the first few days that I questioned my decision to quarantine. Sometimes I felt like I was overreacting and other times like I wasn't taking the whole thing seriously, I don't know if that makes sense. Staying in Mpumalanga to self isolate felt wrong and irresponsible but going home felt wrong and irresponsible too. I stuck it out for the 2 weeks. 

I slept a lot. I prayed a lot. I also attempted a lot of things in the kitchen (I wouldn't necessarily call it cooking LOL),most failed dismally but I didn't care it kept me busy. Staying in doors for 14days wasn't much of a stretch for me. I am a home body. I can spend a lot of time in the house by myself. I enjoy my own company. I enjoy doing nothing. Give me food, comfy clothes and good wifi connection and I'm all good.

We are now on level 3 and honestly I am numb and have been desensitized to it all. I have lost track of the stats. I avoid watching the news. The RACISM pandemic is also tiring. I'm tired of it all. I am tired of being angry, I am tired of feeling powerless . 

When I was away in mpumalanga the only thing I missed was my baby. I loved having my own space and I really enjoyed that place because it was quite. The best scenario would have been being quarantined with my baby. I eventually managed to make it home after countless failed trips to the SAPS for a permit(not without any drama).

I got home and just immersed myself in my daughter. Lol I forgot how naughty she is . She's a lot. She has so much energy and sometimes goes to bed at 11pm. She is so smart it blows my mind. She can count to 20 and sings all sorts of songs (including amapiano lol). We started potty training a little while ago . This is our second attempt. The first time we tried  shit she peed and pooped on herself so much  I got impatient and shut the whole thing down. Obviously I wasn't prepared, I thought it was going to take a little "tell me when you need to pee or poop" once or twice then we'll be good to go. Boy was I in for surprise. Second time around I did a bit of research and pep talked myself a little, yup parenting needs a lot of those. We are on day 8 and we have the peeing on the potty on lock, the pooping on the potty is a bit of a challenge but we'll get there. I am enjoying spending time with her, I am enjoying every minute of it .

I am still looking for permanent employment. I'll be back to actively applying soon . I took a little break because unemployment is tiring, applying is tiring. My IG thrift store is keeping me busy though and bringing in a bit of money. I have been toying with the idea of going back to school, obviously not full time. This period has given me time to re evaluate a lot of things. I am both grateful and tired of it. I'm ready for COVID-19 to end now. Honestly